Rock N Roll Wrestling: Simply The Best Results & Review (15/07/2023)
By Mick Robson
Patreons got this review first, as well as all the content The Arena puts out. For early access and to support the work we put in here, check out patreon.com/thearenamedia
We're back at City Diggers for some family-friendly, hard-hitting action. It's Rock N Roll Wrestling, the premier pro wrestling destination in the Illawarra, and 2023 has quietly been their year. Quietly chipping away, after a struggle to find footing and a venue following all the troubles that COVID brought, RNR have made the Diggers their home once again and gone from strength to strength.
Simply The Best is almost a celebration of the rise of Rock N Roll. The talent born from the RNR Academy over the past several years have really come into their own. Our new Rock N Roll Champion, Moses- formerly known as Captain Keato- is in the shape and form of his career. Mainstays Morgan Rose & Otis have continued to hone their skills throughout Sydney as well as Wollongong, displaying a vicious streak second to none. The Bachelor is a strong fan favourite, establishing himself as an in-ring threat- he's the bringer of doom and makes the ladies swoon. And it's all overseen by the "Purely Sexy" powerhouse, Hunter "PS" Hayes.
The veteran Hayes main events this show against his star student, Moses. What could have been a respectful teacher-student rivalry has given away to an intense blood feud, where Moses not only insulted Hunter, but also his wife, leading to fists being thrown at the conclusion of the last show, MOhemian Rhapsody. We've also got a Scramble match to determine a new No. 1 Contender, the debuting Frankie B, and so much more!
Let's do this!
Ring announcer Lili Edea welcomes us to the Diggers for Rock N Roll Wrestling. She prepares to announce our competitors for the opening contest- as referee Ben enters the ring. The crowd boos and she says, "Be nice, he's just doing his job." I do enjoy the crowd interaction rather than just blanking out things like that. Here we go!
Match 1: Morgan Rose & Tristan Slade (w/ Flame) vs. The Bachelor & Lee Morrow
Big reaction for the Australian Mega Powers, Bacho-Man and the Lee-ster. They show impressive team synergy early as they hit dual vertical suplexes and then do the Mega Powers shake. Not a massive reaction for that, I'd guess most in the crowd are far too young for that reference. Technically, I'm just too young for that reference too, but I'm a massive nerd *ahem*, I mean, student of the game.
Lee Morrow picks a kid out of the crowd to use as a weapon against his opponent- a signature Lee spot where he carries the kid on his shoulder and drives them feet-first into some poor soul- and Bachelor does the same on the other side of the ring. Back inside, Lee hits his trademark elbow, Bachelor tags in and looks for one of his own, but misses, and it's just the opening Greasy Roses needed.
They beat down Bachelor for a while. Nice snap on the side Russian leg sweep as Slade gets a near fall. Rose tags in and does a Flair Flip as he gets launched at the corner, but Morrow boots him down. Bachelor looks for the hot tag but Rose drags him off the apron. Flame gets involved, causing the ref to miss another tag attempt. Flame holds Bachelor and Tristan looks to land a devastating kick- but hits his girl instead! Finally Lee tags in.
Great display of strength as Lee hits a military press. He follows up with the Cody Cutter on Rose, but the pin is broken up by Slade. Flame looks to get involved again, but accidentally missile dropkicks her man. Bachelor blind tags in all the chaos, and although Rose smashes Morrow with a Codebreaker, Bachelor takes the opportunity to nail the Pedigree for the win.
Winners: The Bachelor & Lee Morrow
This was a fun opening tag match. Fast-paced enough to set the excitement level high, but held off just enough on the big hot tag for it to really matter when Lee finally got tagged in. And that finishing sequence is the kind to put that warm and fuzzy feeling in your tum-tum.
Post-match, Bachelor & Morrow do the Mega Powers shake to a better reaction. We'll educate these kids...
Match 2: Frankie B vs. Gym Bro Jessie
Nikki Van Blair surprised Frankie B by being in the crowd to support her PPK sister. Aww, that's sweet.
The premise of this match was that Gym Bro Jessie smells and needs to shower, because she works out so much, see. So Frankie really played into this to start the match, not wanting to engage in grappling with Jessie, feigning that she was choking on the smell. So Jessie gets hold of her with a headlock takedown, putting her face into her armpits, and Frankie bails.
Back in the ring, Jessie displays her power by picking up Frankie in a fireman's carry and driving her into the corner a couple of times. Frankie fights back with a kick in the shins, then a Russian leg sweep and penalty kick for a near fall. Frankie beats Jess down in the corner for a spell, then hits a gutwrench suplex for another near fall.
Frankie charges Jessie in the corner, but Jessie avoids it and hits a massive German Suplex. She hits a torture rack backbreaker (Rack Attack) but Frankie rolls to the outside. She retrieves a spray can of deodorant from under the ring and sprays Jess with it. When the ref takes the can away, Frankie grabs Jessie's towel and chokes her with it. This fires up Jessie, who starts to make a comeback. She hits the giant swing and another German for a near fall. The momentum is shifting! She hits a Death Valley Driver, followed by a top rope elbow drop to put Frankie away!
Winner: Gym Bro Jessie
Very entertaining battle, establishing both characters. An unsuccessful first outing for Frankie B at Rock N Roll, but she more than held her own against Gym Bro Jessie. It's great to see a women's division start to emerge at RNR, I brought along a couple of my friends' kids and when there were no women's matches, they were asking, "where are the girls?" They couldn't make this show, but more stuff like this and I think they'd enjoy the wrestling even more. Frankie was full of confidence and got under the crowd's skin, and Jessie is getting more over with every outing, lots of "one more rep" chants!
Lili quips, "I think that was the smell of victory," which is met with a mix of cheers and groans. Awesome job of keeping the crowd engaged though!
Otis is introduced. He's in a bad mood, as always, but says that Wollongong needs a champion. Umm, Alexander Volkanovski? Anyway, he introduces the Otis Invitational Cup. "24 carat gold, worth over $10,000". Okay, new plan, Mick. Next RNR show, you steal the cup and sell it!
On a serious note, answering the challenge... Jay Sorbet? I thought he was in the Scramble match?
Match 3: Otis Invitational- Otis vs. Jay Sorbet
I feel like Tuckman was originally intended for this spot, Sorbet is too involved with the title picture to be here, and Tuckman made a great debut last show. Alas, the Tuckman is nowhere to be seen, as Sorbet looks to end this quickly with a couple of schoolboy attempts. He hits a couple of scoop slams and a Lionsault for a near fall. Hey, if Sorbet ends this quickly, maybe he could still jump into the Scramble later? But then again, he is coming off an epic at AWE last night against Scott Magnum.
Otis tries to do a flying move- bit outside his wheelhouse- and is met with a dropkick for a near fall. He soon comes back with a full nelson slam- more his style- with a near fall of his own. Otis goes for a monkey flip, but Sorbet lands on his feet. Ain't no stopping him. Sorbet goes for a monkey flip of his own, but is reversed and chopped to the outside. Sheesh.
Sorbet rolls back in as if he's going to do his signature lariat, but adjust, ducking under and hitting a big Spear instead. Sorbet goes up top, but Otis shoves the ref into the ropes. Big suplex by Otis and the beatdown commences. Sorbet eventually rallies with a Disaster Kick. They trade big kicks, then Jay scores with a scoop powerslam. He takes to the skies and hits a cross body for a near fall. Otis escapes a Wasteland attempt and hits a vicious-looking pop up powerbomb for a near fall. Kevin Who? A follow up cannonball misses though, the 450... kinda misses? Looked like he clipped Otis anyway on the way down from where I was sitting, but Otis just gets up and hits the GTS for the win.
Really good match. These two have wrestled before over the years and the chemistry shows. Made even more impressive considering the battle Sorbet had the night before. His body is all red and bruised from Otis' beatings. I think he's out of the Scramble.
Intermission. The crew set up the pole for the Scramble match. It's a contract on a pole match, so should be wild!
Match 4: No. 1 Contender's Scramble Match- Morgan Rose vs. Michael Spencer vs. Lachie The Tradie vs. Dicko vs. Eric Fisher
Rose pulling double duty! Respect. He's selling the effects of the opening tag match but he's not letting this opportunity pass him by. All 5 guys take turns pulling each other off... the pole. It's a mad scramble, hence the name. Babyfaces fighting babyfaces, heels fighting heels, it's every man for himself!
Dicko seems to have an opening to grab the contract but gets low blowed and powerbombed by Rose. There's a bad spot where Fisher goes for the contract but no one's there to stop him at all, no one even in the ring. So he has to stand there for a good 20-30 seconds without grabbing the contract until Rose finally comes in to hit him.
They recover nicely from that with Lachie busting out some innovative offense- a ripcord Bossman slam and a springboard cannonball wiping out 2 guys. Somewhere in the mix, Fisher seems to have hurt himself and is helped backstage. Dicko fires up and takes out the opposition with spinebusters and spears... and he grabs the contract!
Big underdog win in a frenetic match, where a few people got a moment or two to shine. Not sure what happened with Fisher, if anything- it may have been a method to clear the path for Dicko, with Fisher being the more established face. If something went down, wishing him the best. And if not, wishing him the worst, whatever.
Slightly annoyed at the absence of Sorbet with no explanation. I get the real life reasons- plans change, people got sick, whatever- but he was advertised for this match, with the promos highlighting Sorbet's character motivations for wanting to get back to Moses/Keato. Why does the character of Sorbet give up a chance to be No. 1 Contender to fight Otis? Surely the Rock N Roll Championship should be more valuable than Otis' cup.
Chants of "this is awesome" and "you look gorgeous" start up before the main event. I was getting ready to feel super flattered, but I think the chants were directed at our lovely ring announcer.
Main Event: Rock N Roll Heavyweight Championship- Moses (c) vs. Hunter Hayes
Moses makes his entrance by circling the crowd. There were a group of cops standing by the door and Moses pushed one of them on his ass. Major babyface turn from the champ!
He gets on the mic and snarls, "Who invited the narcs? You're a bunch of fornicating canines!" Hilarious workaround of PG restrictions (basically called them f**king dogs, for anyone wondering). He wants to apologise to Hunter and his wife... for not calling them something worse than a bitch at the last show! This prompts Hunter to run out and attack Moses without a formal entrance, and they brawl around the arena. They get back in the ring and Hunter hits a stalling suplex and a fall away slam. He sets up for the DDT, but Moses escapes, grabs the title, leaves the ring... and is counted out?!
Winner: Hunter Hayes (via countout)
Hunter grabs the mic and tells Moses, Keato, whatever you want to call yourself, to come back... and he sneaks back in and hits him with a steel chair! The unsanctioned beatdown is on... but Dicko makes the save! And he has his contract in hand... he's cashing in right now!
Main Event 2: Electric Boogaloo- Rock N Roll Heavyweight Championship- Dicko vs. Moses (c)
They exchange hard strikes and Moses gets the better of things with a couple of headbutts. Dicko comes back with a neckbreaker but Moses rolls out to safety. He gains the upper hand back in the ring with a scoop slam, then an elbow drop, then bounces his head off the mat like a basketball. I bet Dicko wishes he still had his hair about now. The champ nails a huge knee lift and Dicko is in trouble.
Dicko starts to make a comeback with a flying elbow from the second rope. A cross body gets a near fall. A spinebuster gets another one. A spear gets a 2.99! Dicko hits the DKO- a twisting suplex of sorts- but Moses gets his foot on the ropes! Dicko can't believe it, and Moses uses the hesitation to deliver a schoolboy- with a handful of tights- for the tainted victory, but a victory nonetheless.
Post-match, Moses grabs the mic and smugly says, "I am simply the best." Hey, that's the name of the show!
Well, that was a rollercoaster! Dicko showed so much emotion at every turn of that match, it was hard not to get sucked in. I've got a mate who loves to compare Dicko to Sami Zayn... well, that was a performance straight from the Underdog of the Underground's playbook.
As for the champ... for all his cockiness and bravado, Moses showed here that he wasn't better than either Hunter Hayes or Dicko in a fair fight. But he's still a winner. Definitely some character development to watch. Although he's still the man for giving shit to the cops. What kind of muppet would want to be a cop, anyway? On a serious note, Moses has a plethora of talent and options going forward, it seems, as Rock N Roll Champion. I daresay that he's not finished with Hunter Hayes, though...
This was a home run outing for Rock N Roll Wrestling. As I said at the outset of this review, they've elevated with every show and gone from strength to strength. It's quickly becoming the kind of show that might outgrow the Diggers venue sooner rather than later. The homegrown talent are taking every opportunity given to shine, and are enhanced by visitors from other promotions, with the likes of PWA's Michael Spencer & Frankie B joining the ranks.
The Rock N Roll crew can be very proud of this one, then it's onto the next one in August!
Overall Score: 8.5/10
Until next time, take care.