Rock N Roll Wrestling- Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal Results & Thoughts (03/12/2022)
By Mick Robson
Rock N Roll Wrestling held a family-friendly Christmas themed event this weekend. Although they have yet to secure a regular venue after being hit by COVID, they have soldiered on with entertaining shows at their training facility in Unanderra, just outside of Wollongong, NSW.
The following is results and some quick thoughts on the show:
Match 1: Secret Santa (The Apprentice) def. Otis
I hope the Apprentice got a little bonus for this show, as the box he was hiding in was in the ring for a decent length of time before the show actually started! As usual, Otis heeled it up to the max, throwing Christmas decorations and boxes at the crowd. The match itself was actually really good, with the pre-requisite comedic value surrounding the festive theme. Otis with some nice near falls following a pumphandle neckbreaker and a pop-up powerbomb, but a second attempt at the pop-up is countered into a Stunner for the win! (***1/4)
Match 2: The Lee Morrow def. The Bachelor
Honestly, the story of this match was The Bachelor, in his Santa outfit. Not just because he was adhering to the theme, but his pants kept frequently falling down! My sources tell me that Bachelor is transitioning to a Glenn Quagmire style gimmick, so quick were his pants to come off. Anyway, Bachelor has a nice run of offense, including a series of punches where the crowd chanted, "Ho, Ho, Ho". An innocent little kid yells out, "We need more ho's!" Amen, little dude. Bachelor is unsuccessful at hitting the Pedigree, but Morrow scores with the Widowmaker to end it. He may hate Wollongong AND Christmas, but he still leaves the city with the victory. (**1/2)
Match 3: Jay Sorbet def. Parker Tomas
PT is one heel on the show that doesn't go uber anti-Christmas, but he doesn't need that to get heat... he's against the ever-popular Jay Sorbet. "What's Your Flava" plays seemingly forever during the entrance, but once we get down to business, it's good.... stuff, pal. PT keeps things grounded while humourously complaining about hair pulls despite being bald, and Sorbet dazzles with moves like a flipping lariat and a Lionsault. Tomas hilariously hits Sorbet with a piece of tinsel for a near fall. Referee Lili busts PT with the dangerous foreign object, and Sorbet hits the Wasteland and a twisting frog splash, ala RVD, to end it. Sorbet told me post-match that Tomas was too close to the corner for a 450, so he improvised. Cool result! (***)
Intermission. I take the opportunity to go outside, get some fresh air, chat to Jay a little, and upload highlights of the show to Instagram, because phone reception inside the Academy is shit.
Match 4: Flame def. Gym Bro Jessie
This was a lot of fun! Both characters were on point. It was great to see the Gym Bro make the trip down to the Gong from PWA, and I was repping with the OnlyPain shirt on the night. We had a rare opportunity to see Jessie work a singles, and I loved her mannerisms and body language. A little cartoony, but I mean that in a good way- it fit perfectly for that audience at Rock N Roll. Throughout this one, Gym Bro shows off her strength, perhaps most impressively with the Giant Swing, but in the end, her own protein powder- or should that be, "Bro"-tein Powder- was used against her for the tainted victory! The ref seems to notice the shenanigans after the bell... maybe this will need to be run back somewhere down the road... (**1/4)
Main Event: Hunter PS Hayes & Captain Keato def. The Original Greasers (Robbie Zucco & Tristan Slade)
Dicko, who was originally set to work with Hunter here, was ruled out due to injury, so served as special ref instead. Keato was warmly received by the crowd- we JUST farewelled him a couple of months ago, but hey, he's a big time player. The Greasers try and take advantage after a ref bump and use a shovel that they brought to the ring, but it backfires. A Six And Out by Keato, followed by a DDT from Hunter, sees Slade look up at the lights for the 3. Crowd goes home happy! (**3/4)
Post match, Hunter grabs the mic. He promises a return to proper venues in 2023, before breaking kayfabe and bringing out Lee Morrow. Morrow's heading to the US to train at The Nightmare Factory. He asks us to wish him all the best in that endeavour, and we oblige.
A quality night out. I am looking forward to a return to venues, where food and alcohol can add to the experience. It's always better when you can go with friends and make it dinner and a show. As it is in the Academy setting, Rock N Roll absolutely give you your bang for your buck. Also, they're great with the fans- there's a true sense of community in what they do.
Until next time, take care.